Introduction
Me No Speak Good Mexican
Instructions 101
Expelled from Match.com!
Television Shows that Didn’t Make the Fall Line-up
Where the Sun Don’t Shine
A Hairdresser’s Lament
The Ever-Changing Dating Game
Customs, Laws and Faux Pas
Hypochondriacs Make Me Sick
The Breast of Times
On Becoming A Famous Writer
Golf Course Thugs
The Great Sperm Audition
Let’s Get This Potty Started
I Want To Take You: Hire
Daring Dining
The Sedentary Life
Speed Dating Cougars, MILFs and Chihuahuas
Maneuvering Through M&Ms
I’m Loathing It
Watching Grandma Circle the Drain
Fun with Telemarketers
Intercourse and Horneytown
The Real Secret to Using On-line Dating
Coming In for a Landing
My Birth Anomalies
I’m Getting Old
New Rules for Deer and Elk Hunting Season!
When Criminals Make a Mess
Living the Streamlined Life
Speaking in Tongues
For Better or for Worse

Hot Careers for 2011
Sticky Bomb Threat Foiled
Steroids Invade the World of Professional Chess
One for the Price of Two
The End of a Love Affair
Sweeping Rule Changes for Competitive Eating
The Mortuary Rose Bowl Stadium
New Frontiers in Home Schooling
The Great Soufflé Explosion
The Tour De France Has a Female Winner!
Fly Me To The Snooze
Malcolm Brown, M.D.—Ghetto Doctor
The Vatican III: New Changes for Roman Catholics